About The Artist
” I believe that we all have some kind of pain. However, this does not necessarily mean suffering.
I use my negative emotions and pain and create something beautiful into this World instead.”
Kärolyn Huum The Artist
Kärolyn's story
My name is Kärolyn Huum and I am a self-taught artist. I was born and raised in South Estonia on May 17, 1997 (26 y.o). Estonia is a small country in the Baltic States.
In winter on the 27th of January 2018 I was in a car accident with my significant other when our car collided with a wrong-way driver’s car. In total, three cars took part in this accident. I got the most serious injuries and after the accident, I have been unfit for almost six years.
Where am I today? I am doing the best I can – bringing myself and others positivity and joy through my art. I believe that we all have some kind of pain. But that does not mean we have to suffer all the time. I prefer to turn my negative emotions and pain into something new and beautiful instead.
That is a valuable lesson to everyone who doubts oneself. Never believe anybody but yourself and your intuition. Remember, life does not always gives us what we want but what we need.
My Desire
Before the accident, my desire was to become a choreographer in order to combine folk dance with modern dance styles. Dancing was my greatest passion. Unfortunately, the most injuries were in my leg – the heel of my left foot was completely shattered. Doctors did not give me any hope for recovery on walking again. At the present, I have managed to get rid of the wheelchair. While my hospital stay I developed sores under my injured foot, thus there will always be a possibility that my leg must be amputated.
One evening I could not handle my strong emotions, so I bought the cheapest acrylic paints, canvas, and a paintbrush and started to paint. I have never been given any special art-related education, but I remember that I liked to draw when I was still at school.
The next day the canvas was filled with a flower garden and after that, I understood that there is a flower garden inside my soul. I paint because of the feeling it gives me. I understood that I was naturally talented and had to continue painting. I realized that through the deepest pain you can still create something amazing and beautiful.
After exploring my inner-self and regular meditation my visual imagination is getting better and better. Painting helps me to sort out my inner self. It gives me an opportunity to live in the moment and not think about the past (these are already “dead memories”) or about the future (imagination). We all suffer because of these two things. All pieces I paint come from my visualisation. I often start painting without knowing what is the result or what I shall end up with. This journey and process are very important to me. The completed result will always surprise me and create a „wow“ effect.
I have been painting about for three years now. I have sold more than 15 paintings. There are many supporters and lovers of my work and at times my paintings get more attention because of their bright pastellist colors. Many of my supporters claim that my paintings heal them and give them strength and power. That is what makes me unique. I create something totally different and new that is all my own creation.
In ten years’ time, I see myself living in my own little house where I have my own studio. I like to live in the countryside and my dream is to have a little log house in the woods, where I can create something I was born to and live pain-free as much as possible (so far I have been able to live about 2 days without any physical pain during the last five years). This is a big challenge, but it has come here to teach me something. This is also my biggest goal – to give as many people as possible that deeper knowledge and feeling that the deepest beauty in life might hide in simplicity and values and being right here.
After the accident in addition to meditating, I also started to do yoga. Now I understand how important it is to understand that illnesses and problems come to us to challenge us and they are blessings to us, so we could grow as a person. If people want to grow mindfulness they have to face the deepest losses of things that were important to them. Life is not
how we want, but what we need.
We all have to think about why life brings us these challenges and why this is necessary for us. That we understand life more deeply and accept totally.To live wholesomely and not be conflicted with our inner selves and not let our intelligence work against us. Before I started painting, I also kept writing. I can share a bit of that with you. Food of thought.
My Journey
No emotions, no thoughts. One micro-moment. Total silence. Deeper breaths. Reaching the center of balance and a deeper feeling for it.
I don’t feel anything except peace. Peace I have lived for and chased for. Hoping that this moment will come. A moment where I can’t feel anything but constant happiness inside of me and let my thoughts fly without any struggle. I understand with perfect clarity where I come from, where I am currently, and where I want to go.
There are no thoughts that could take me back to the point where I once was. Ability to understand my different emotions gives me the ability to control a big part of my life and lately gives me the best possible choices. We cannot control everything that is happening to us, but a big part is directional/selectable. Most of the things come our way to make us understand our own mistakes and mishaps. We all are like mirrors to each other. We have to cut all ties with repetitive behaviors and change our old beliefs.
There are no thoughts that could take me back to the point where I once was. Ability to understand my different emotions gives me the ability to control a big part of my life and lately gives me the best possible choices. We cannot control everything that is happening to us, but a big part is directional/selectable. Most of the things come our way to make us understand our own mistakes and mishaps. We all are like mirrors to each other. We have to cut all ties with repetitive behaviors and change our old beliefs.
Sometimes putting yourself in uncomfortable situations can only be transformational for us. Like cold baths, winter swimming, facing negative emotions, accepting these and letting them go, and forgiving yourself and others, it seems hard but the feeling you get when you push yourself through that- can be life-changing. That teaches us very much. The emotion of fear. Forcing our body out of our comfort zone, only then it will become resilient and accommodate our mindset too.
To heal our body and mind, we should face that emotion, and then we can finally understand the deeper meaning of life. To fully appreciate without fear. You need to will to force your mind to break the limits you have set on yourself. It is only comforting that pressure ourselves even deeper and deeper into the frame we have created. People are capable of adapting to almost everything. Even when your inner world is stressful and when your mind is at peace.
I am proud that I have been able to heal myself enough throughout this stressful situation, that fighting against the world does not feel like swimming against waves, but rather drifting along steadily. No more of these self-thought crooked roads, the way is much straighter than before – when I fought what felt like against life itself even. I let myself flow along smoothly, in life’s beauty and pain, without resistance. It is the only thing in my power.
Everything surrounding us is so fast-paced, and everyone is seeking something important, something to make life more valuable. I take a moment and understand that this place that everyone’s trying to reach – exists within me already. Thank you, Kärolyn. You have persevered and overcome a greater part of your own and the surrounding challenges, to understand that home is where you yourself are. I was able to let go of the reality I created, which was encoded in me since childhood.
I am proud that I have been able to heal myself enough throughout this stressful situation, that fighting against the world does not feel like swimming against waves, but rather drifting along steadily. No more of these self-thought crooked roads, the way is much straighter than before – when I fought what felt like against life itself even. I let myself flow along smoothly, in life’s beauty and pain, without resistance. It is the only thing in my power.
Everything surrounding us is so fast-paced, and everyone is seeking something important, something to make life more valuable. I take a moment and understand that this place that everyone’s trying to reach – exists within me already. Thank you, Kärolyn. You have persevered and overcome a greater part of your own and the surrounding challenges, to understand that home is where you yourself are. I was able to let go of the reality I created, which was encoded in me since childhood.
Where there is life, there I am, too. I did not just arrive, but I’ve been here this whole time. I have reached deeper into the understanding, which will affect my life from now on. By abandoning my self-created beliefs and opinions, I am able to glide through the toughness and see the entire picture from a much more positive perspective than I could ever imagine. I broke this self-conceived frame, and released myself. Thank you, I love myself completely and everything that surrounds me.
Including my strengths, as well as my weaknesses, through which there is constantly evolving, the creation and birth of new.
Sign in
Create an Account
